“Before I came to America, I was a living-dead. My whole life was upside down. My choices and desires were based on my reasoning ability alone. And most of the time, those choices and desires were not the right one. Then I experienced the soul treatment.
The first time I had this experience; it was like a cover was taken out of my face. I could not recognize my own face in the mirror, because the expression has changed. I was used to the old expression. Something deep happened to me. I could not put a name on to it but I know that I was feeling
good; not only the good feelings but also an inner discovery of my own importance. For the first time I did not want to give up on myself. For the first time I realized how much I need help. For the first time I experienced the crispy smile of my soul. Because the reality was that my soul was in cry.
It was at that moment I had a glimpse of the damage of my soul. It was only at that moment the feelings of running away disappear from my soul. The confidence I had in Alain to be the one to help me was more convincing to me than ever. I was ready to give all to be able to breathe the fresh air. Even if consciously I will decide to leave, subconsciously I could not. My soul has found home and she won’t leave that home for nothing. The second time I had soul treatment experience was different than the first one. This time I was able to see the part of my past and accept it. Before, it was very hard for to remember my past. A lot of things happened in my childhood but I could not recall anything. Through this treatment, I was able to forgive one of my step mothers for the wrong she did to me.
For the first time I cried like a baby not because I want to. I was not a crying person at all. Most of my emotions or crying was based on calculation. I was not able to relate to people’s emotions. For instance, I fake crying when my father passed away. But this time something was opened within me to let tears come out without any calculation. After that, I noticed that I become more sensitive to emotion. I noticed also in my prayer time or in the moment I’m singing gospel songs, tear will run out of my face. What I’m saying is not that I did not experience tears in worshiping but this time is different.
It is not the tears of suffering and calling on God. I’m sorry I cannot put name into it. Because it is not for joy only either. It’s something more profound that I’m not able to explain with word. If I want to be the one God created, then all the negative emotions stocked in my subconscious mind have to be transformed. This is what the soul treatment is giving me: The ability to understand and be free from my past, and the tools to uncover who I really am. Through this treatment I’m able to see sunshine in my life and I feel more connected to the universe than before. The heaviness on my shoulder was lifted and I can honestly understand the suffering of my siblings. Thank you”
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